Toddler-hood

Ive come to the conclusion that toodlerhood will be the death of me.

 Tantrums, oh god the tantrums. I read a lot of mom blogs, I read a lot of parenting articles. I rarely yell, I hold it in until the frustration makes me want to rip my hair out. Then I go sit in the bathroom and cry. I shame myself saying in my head I must be a terrible mother and I think all the bad things.

Toddlers are just little people with big feelings that don't understand why they can't walk into the neighbors house, or why they can't press on the screen of a window, or why they can't eat 14 apples in one day. So they scream. And cry. And throw themselves on the floor. I walk away most of the time. I explain it and then walk away before I yell back. I count down the minutes before bedtime. I can't wait until he's asleep.
 Once he's asleep, I stare at his beautiful little face, I study every little eyelash. I kiss him on his soft chubby little cheek and smell his sweet baby skin. I feel his heart beating in his chest. I made this perfect little person. He is exhausting when he is awake. I don't like him very much right now but I love him with my whole heart.